From Caroline D'Souza

Message from Caroline - Tony’s niece.
This was read out at the Celebration of Harri's life on April 5th by Harold Wright.

Ever since I found out about Harri’s sudden death, it’s been a nagging thought that I pen down a few words to celebrate his life…. To celebrate living, to celebrate the joy of family, friends and loved ones. It took me this long because I was at such a loss of words. Thoughts and memories… there are plenty, however the words weren’t doing justice to it. Today, I hope I can convey a message on how important it is to celebrate life.

I first came to know Harri when he visited our family in 1994. He was touring India with my Uncle Tony and had decided to stop in Calcutta – so that he could learn more about where Uncle grew up and lived his youth. It took him a while to get adjusted to the city and more so, the number of people he saw everywhere. His adventurous spirit even got him to agreeing to try a “meetha paan” ( sweet betal nut and spices rolled up in a leaf). He later confessed this wasn’t up his street.

I was in my teenage years and the people I met created a deep impression on me. His jovial spirit would keep Mum, Dad, Jacqui (my sister) and me entertained for many an evening. He would share interesting stories about Estonia and brought us wonderful gifts from there. It was so fascinating to meet a man who had such high levels of tolerance and patience! He would answer each and every query I had without discouraging me on my lack of awareness. (You know how many questions teenagers have while growing up)

Dad clearly remembers the time Harri showed us the pictures he had taken of the Taj Mahal ( a place which has numerous visitors each day ) Harri had taken photographs of the monument without a single person in the background – which is immensely difficult. When Dad asked him how he managed that – his response was that he went early in the morning so that he could capture those beautiful pictures. He was so original in his approach to the things he did.
He would correspond regularly and we’d always get notes, cards and postcards from him letting us know which part of the world he was touring. He wouldn’t just leave it to emails – but send it by post which made all the difference. He’d want to speak with us when Uncle would call us (long-distance) and that made us feel special to him.

My closest experience of getting to know Harri even better was when we (Mum, Dad and me) visited Toronto for Uncle Tony and Harri’s joint celebration in 2004. He lovingly welcomed us to their home and patiently explained things to us when we needed guidance. I know he’s particular about the way the kitchen is to be kept tidy among other things. He had a wonderful way of talking to everyone and I don’t think he ever held a grudge towards anyone. He was so tolerant and kind. He would prepare pancakes, maple syrup with bacon on Sundays – and I remember the first Sunday we were there and I woke up to the delicious aroma of breakfast. He explained that he wanted us to have a fill of a traditional Canadian breakfast. A special mention is the numerous fruit pies he would bake as also the fresh flowers that he showed Mum how to candy and ice to decorate cakes with. (Including the cake for the celebration)There is so much to share about every memory I have - however, every new experience we had there has his spirit attached to it and something I will cherish all my life.

For both, my sisters wedding and mine – although he was not able to attend the weddings, he graciously sent us Estonian gifts which were so symbolic, meaningful and different to what we usually receive. Harri was always unique in his own way – most precious were the doilies that his mother had hand-woven by herself. Everything given was accompanied with a note by him that enhanced its significance.

Even when I taught my Montessori children ( in Singapore ) about the continent of Europe – it was my turn to share about Estonia and Harri sent beautiful handicrafts that helped the children learn so much more. In fact he sent me a letter from there too around the precise time – so the children were able to see the postage stamp as well as a picture of the summer solstice. My husband Anil and my first Christmas away from home was made special with an exclusive Christmas mobile from Harri. He had a thoughtful, caring nature.

His love for others, his unending patience, his kindness to all, his spirit for forgiveness, his gentle demeanor, his fun-loving, cheery nature, his style of living life to the full is such an inspiration to my family and me. The heartbreaking news of his sudden demise has got me to reflect on how precious life is and how important it is to appreciate what’s around us.

It’s time we look at the infinitely greater complexity of a human person. There never was, nor ever will be, anyone like you. Harri. Let’s celebrate his life and all the experiences it brings our way and may Harri be a motivation to us to live life and celebrate it to the fullest, because each day if lived, like it is your last, will make life more meaningful.